First Year Worst Year Part 2
Updated: Jul 2, 2024
Welcome back to part two of a reflection following my first year. If you didn't see part one click this link.
A Nice Surprise
My involvement with Kappa Psi has been a significant part of my professional life. Kappa Psi was the organization that helped to give me purpose and a place during pharmacy school. I had brothers who were upperclassmen take me under their wing to cultivate my leadership skills and building meaningful relationships came from it. As a graduate member, I aim to give back to the fraternity as much as those before me. The pillars of the organization are fellowship, industry, high ideals and sobriety. So, I do my best to live and work by those standards. This year I attended some of the collegiate meetings and events at my new institution, it was a fulfilling way to stay connected. I tried to keep my distance and also let the students know that I was there to help if and when they needed it. Towards the end of the year, I was unexpectedly asked to replace the current advisor who was stepping down. Initially hesitant about being seen as the "old head" intruding on their operations, I was pleasantly surprised by how warmly I was welcomed. This new role is something I'm excited about and looking forward to contributing to.
Lessons Learned: Balancing Responsibilities and Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
At the beginning of the year, I struggled to balance my teaching responsibilities with other professional obligations and life in general. I found myself staying late to work, taking work home, stressing myself and not seeing that I did much of it to myself. I mentioned earlier that I heard the first year is the worst year, or should I say most difficult. It takes far more time to create course material and prepare the first time around than in later years. I will admit, there were tears, frustration and rework, but there was also encouragement and positivity from my family, supervisor, colleagues. I have this little annoying habit of feeling like I need to fill every second of my time and I was over exerting myself. The people around me helped me realize that I don't have to be at every event or constantly prove myself. I can set small, obtainable goals and trust that my work and effort will speak for itself.
One personal challenge I've faced over the last several years is overcoming imposter syndrome. I often overthink and over-prepare, doubting whether my work is good enough. This year taught me that perfection is not the goal; continuous improvement is. I learned the importance of taking notes on my class sessions, lectures and writing to make small tweaks. If I can seek unbiased, constructive feedback from observers, I can get better over time. Another friend of mine reminded me that when I work with other more senior faculty, I have to remember they have been doing this for much longer than me. I’m new and my work may not always be as good as theirs but it’s because I haven’t had the years of practice. And that’s OK! So, I’ve tried to be self-reflective and not compare myself to others, just looking at my own growth has been incredibly helpful.
Celebrating Achievements: Recognizing My Worth
A pretty significant moment that I had this year was being awarded the Distinguished Young Pharmacist Award at the OPA annual meeting. There’s research out there that shows women tend to ensure they have all the qualities listed in a job description or award before they apply, meanwhile men just go for it. So, encouraged by a colleague, I applied for the award and subsequently was selected as the recipient. This award recognizes a new-ish pharmacist (within their first 10 years of practice) who participates in national professional organizations and community service. Initially, I didn't take the time to celebrate or even feel deserving of the recognition. I remember getting the e-mail of congratulations and thinking “oh, cool” and moving on to the next thing. I let the moment pass without taking it in! I just kept working, and that’s not ok. This experience highlighted my tendency to be overly achievement-oriented and not to bask in my accomplishments enough, live in the moment. It was a valuable reminder to acknowledge and celebrate successes, no matter how small they may seem and though this was a huge one!
Teaching and Student Engagement: Finding What Works
Connecting with students over the last year was gratifying. That happened both inside and out of the classroom. I get to teach in a large room setting as well as smaller settings. With my content in pharmacy administration, I discovered active learning is often more effective and preferred by students than traditional lectures, although some subjects require a lecture-based approach for better understanding. Pharmacy administration isn't always well-received because students don't realize its practical applications until they enter into practice. It can be difficult to not be offended when students don’t like your content, I had to learn at I am not my content. So, next year I will make it my mission to show just how important it is. This year reinforced the importance of refining my lessons and bringing more energy to the classroom to make the content more engaging.
Whew, this is a lot. I know, but it was a whole school year! Stick with me, just one more part.
If you didn't get to read Part 1, go back so you can have the whole story.
Keep Seeking,
Click this link here for Part 1
Click this link here for Part 3
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